Before the World Came Crashing Down
by LoveandLearn
Summary: I think the title gives it away but just in case it doesn't, this is the prequel to When the World Comes Crashing Down. It follows Addison and Michael from the time they first arrived in Seattle to see Derek and goes all the way to the beginnings of her illness. The original story will pick up where this ends.
1. Chapter 1

"Daddy here?" Michael asked his mother as they stepped into the building the morning after their arrival in Seattle. He hadn't seen or spoken to his father in approximately two months. Michael was incredibly attached to both his parents; being apart from Derek for two months had been a challenge.

"Yeah, sweetheart, he is definitely here." Addison told her son. She watched his face light up with a smile that always brought a smile to her own face.

"Do-es Daddy wants to see me?" Michael asked her in concern. "You's ask him, pwease?"

"Michael, I'm sure your father would love to see you." Addison promised.

"Daddy!" Michael screamed with excitement when he spotted his father at the coffee cart in the lobby. He let go of his mother's hand and ran straight toward his father.

Derek barely had enough time to figure out what was going on. He turned to see his son running toward him and opened his arms just in time to catch the child.

"Daddy." Michael squealed again, wrapping his arms tightly around his father's neck.

"Michael!" Derek exclaimed, trying to sound just as enthusiastic as his son had. "I missed you so much, buddy."

"Weally?" Michael asked sounding a little surprised. "Mama trieded ta call you so I's can tawk ta you but you's never pickded up."

"Well, I'm very sorry about that, Mikey. I didn't mean to do that, I did not realize that you were the one that wanted to talk to me." Derek apologized to his son, placing a loving kiss on the little boy's forehead. "You forgive me?"

Michael nodded his head and tightened his arms around his father's neck so he wouldn't put him down.

"I promise to make it up to you. I'm glad Mommy brought you to work with her today. I really missed you. We will spend lots of time together before you go back home."

"Derek..." Addison spoke up from where she stood a few feet away from the father and son duo. "I have to go prep my patient for surgery and get to the OR. I was gonna drop Mikey off at day-care but apparently the day-care at this hospital is a pre-school and there is a waiting list so I'm pretty much screwed. Do you think you can keep an eye on him for a few hours? If you have surgery scheduled then I can try to find someone else to stay with him."

"I'll stay with him. I can give my cases to someone else." Derek replied without even looking her way.

Addison moved closer to them and lean in to give Michael a quick peck on the cheek. Addison quickly pulled away after her son returned the gesture of affection, she could tell that Derek was uncomfortable with their proximity and so was she. "I'll come find you when I'm done so I can take him. I'm sure you've got work to do." she said before walking away.

"So, Mikey, you hungry? Wanna go to the cafeteria and grab breakfast?"

Mikey nodded his head. "Chocolate milk!" he exclaimed happily.

Just a few minutes later Derek had his son situated at a table with a small milk carton of chocolate milk and a cookie. He sat across the table, silently watching as the three year old attempted to eat the large cookie.

"I'm really sorry I left you, Mikey. I'm sorry that I never call..."

"S'okay, Daddy. Mommy 'splained it ta me."

"What did she explain to you?"

"Her telled me that you had ta go because her is do-ed somefing bad. She telled me that you's stopped luffing her a wong time ago, that's why you's never comed home. But she telled me that you's always gonna luf me. Wight, Daddy?"

"Mikey, buddy, this whole thing is so much more complicated than you will be able to understand. You're just a little kid."

"I's a big boy!" Michael insisted.

"What happen between me and your mom, it's too complicated for you. You're too young to understand love and trust. It's something that a lot of grown ups don't understand. I don't think I understand it, honestly buddy."

"Oh..." Michael murmured in surprised. He had always thought his father was the smartest person on the planet. He thought his father knew everything.

"Daddy, you's use ta say that peoples haved babies cuz they weally, weally luf one anotha. If you don't luf mama anymore do-es that mean I's gonna dis-pear?"

"No, you're not going to disappear. Your mom and I are going through something really hard right now but we both love you more than anything else in this world. We will figure out a way to keep you happy." Derek told his son reassuringly.

"Is you happy now?" Michael asked, looking up to meet his father's eyes as she waited for an answer. "Cuz' I's think Mama is not happy. Her is cries a lot now. And I's not happy cuz Mommy's sad and you's not there to kiss her and make it betta like 'fore. But is you happy?"

"I..." Derek struggled to compose an answer for the child. He thought back to the life he created in Seattle. The life that did not include his wife and son. He was happy but a part of him was missing. He wasn't complete. "I don't know." he admitted.

His eyes widening as a smile grew on his face. "Daddy!" he exclaimed in excitement. He jumped up onto his seat and said, "Unca Archie camed ta visit me and he gots me a Blue's Clue DVD!" he started rambling uncontrollably and Derek had never been so grateful for his son's childlike attention span.

After hours in surgery, Addison stepped into the locker room and retrieved her cell phone from the pocket of the lab coat hanging inside. A glance at the screen revealed a text message from Derek informing her that he had taken the whole day off to take Michael sightseeing. The message concluded with _I'll bring him to your hotel tonight. S_he was glad that Derek was making time for Michael. She was glad that he was willing to make the effort for their son. On the other hand, she wished he'd realized to make that effort sooner so their family wouldn't have fallen apart.

She changed out of her signature salmon scrub and back into yet another all black outfit. She'd be wearing a lot of black, almost as if she was mourning for the death of her marriage. With no one to turn to and no where else to go, Addison headed back to her hotel room. What hurt the most was the fact that going home to no one would become common. She was sure that Derek would seek join legal custody and she was willing to grant him that, she wanted him in their son's life. But that also meant that Michael would spend his time split between New York and Seattle which would leave Addison alone in an empty house more often than she'd like.

She skipped dinner, raiding the minibar in the hotel room instead. An overpriced bag of potato chips, a mini bottle of wine and a pay-per-view movie kept her occupied until she heard a knock on the door. She opened the door to discover Derek with Michael shly hiding behind his legs.

"Hey." he greeted, glancing back at Michael who was trying to hide behind his legs. "Michael wants to stay with me tonight. If that's okay with you, we just need to grab a couple of things and we'll be gone."

"Stay with you?" Addison asked.

"Yeah. I think it's good idea, I miss him and having just one day was not enough. I wanna do the bedtime ritual. I miss all of them. We thought it would work well for everyone. He and I will have some extra time together and you will have the night off to do whatever you want."

Having no other choice, Addison agreed. She packed her son's pajamas and a change of clothes in his Cars backpack. She held it out to Derek and tried to get a peek of her son who was still hiding behind his father. "Can I get a hug and a kiss before you go, buddy?" she asked, trying to sound as carefree as possible.

Michael timidly pulled away from his father and wrapped his arms around Addison's thighs, which is about as far up as he could reach to hug. "You's not mad, Mama?" he asked softly just to double check for her approval.

"No, buddy, I'm not mad. You should go have fun with your Daddy." Addison replied, managing a smile that could fool anyone. "I can never be mad at you, buddy. I love you too much."

"I luff you, too." he replied, puchering his lips to gesture his mother to kneel down so he could kiss her cheek.

Once Derek and Michael were gone Addison got back into her bed and continued watching her movie. There were a few emotionless, expressionless minutes before Addison broke into a fit of tears. This is what her life had become. She and her estranged husband would split their time with their son, he would have two homes instead of one. Two separate lifestyles. Everything that Addison vowed to protect her children from. She ended up crying herself to sleep to fight the feeling of loneliness that was overcoming her.

Just four hours late Addison woke to knocking on her hotel room door. She groggily forced herself out of bed to get the door and found Derek standing in the hall with their son in his arms. "What happen?" she asked sleepily.

"He woke up and started crying for Mommy and he refused to go back to sleep." Derek replied, passing their child into her arms.

"Mikey, you love sleepovers." Addison said to the child. "You love staying over at Archie's when I'm on call. What was so different about Daddy's house?"

"I misted you." Mikey told her. "You and Daddy is mawwied, wright? How's come you wasn't there wif us, Mama? I's wanted to be wif you _and _Daddy. Mawwied people live togetha!"

"Honey, we've explained this to you before. Mommy and Daddy are not together anymore. We're still married but we're not for much longer."

"Cuz Daddy stopped luffing you, wight?" Michael asked, recalling the conversation he had with his mother before they came to Seattle.

"No, honey, it's not that." Addison answered. Although Michael was right that Derek no longer loved her, Addison did not want to ruin Michael's image of his father. "We just grew apart. It happens sometimes after a couple has been married a really long time like me and your dad."

"Oh." Michael murmured as he got into his bed in the hotel room. He lied still for a second then got out of his bed and moved into his mother's bed. "We's cuddle tonight, kay?" he asked.

Addison smiled at him and nodded, "Sure, buddy." she answered before turning back to Derek, "I'm sorry that he gave you trouble. It's hard on him. I'm sure he'll adjust slowly. I'm sure that once we go back he'll miss you like crazy and when he comes back to see you he won't even remember me."

"This is weird." Derek muttered.

"What's weird?"

"These problems. He's my son. I left him and came here and now he can't spend a night with me."

"I'm hard on him, Derek. It's hard on all of us. We'll all get used to it." she repeated.

"It's just going to get harder. You're going to take him back to New York and I'm gonna stay here. I'll see him maybe once a month if I'm lucky. I'm gonna be one of those dads I vowed not to be." Derek realized.

"It doesn't have to be once a month."

"You're right, it doesn't." he agreed. "Would you consider moving out here?"

"Moving here?" she repeated, her brows inclined in shock at the idea. "Is that a serious suggestion?"

"Yeah, why not?"

"Because you're asking my to uproot and change my whole life for you!" she exclaimed. "You want me to leave my home and my family, you want me to sell the practice I built up from nothing, you want me to change everything in my life so make this situation easy for you. We're not even together anymore and yet you feel that you've got the authority to make such outrageous requests."

"It's not for me, it's for our son, Addison. We need to do what's best for him and what's best for him is having both of us in his life."

"Then maybe you should think about moving back to New York." she replied.

"Addison, I'm not expecting you decide right now. This move might be great for you. I heard what the job offer Richard extended to you, you'd be a rock star here. You'd have everything you ever dreamed of for your career. And if you accept that offer and you move here then you won't have to raise our son on your own. It will still be a joint effort. Addison, just because we won't be married anymore doesn't mean that I'm not always gonna care about you. I'd be able to help you with anything you need if you were near by. I can't make sure you're okay if you're all the way across the country."

"The job offer was really very generous of Richard and I wouldn't want Michael to grow up without his father."

"Just think about it, okay? That's all I ask." Derek requested softly.

* * *

You guys asked for a prequel for "When the World Comes Crashing Down" and you got a prequel. I've been working on it forever and it's finally ready to post. It's going to be three parts and the end of this story will lead right to the beginning of the original story. Since Mikey is a little younger in this, I added a few words that he misprounces. He says "ta" instead of "to" and he says "luff" instead of "love." I realized that most three years can pronounce these words but where is the cuteness in kids who say everything perfectly? Hope you guys like it :)

Don't forget a review!

Btw- I think the main reason why I actually wrote a prequel was because I really wanted to do another Michael story. I love the way that kid speaks, I can't help myself.


	2. Chapter 2

Addison tiredly took a seat on the bench in front of her locker. She exhaled a deep breath and just sat there for a few minutes staring into her mostly empty locker. In New York she had an office, she had a space to hide away when things got hard. In Seattle all she had was that locker. She gave up her comfort zone to give her son to chance to grow up without the burden of hateful divorced parents. She had gotten a bag of chips from the vending machine and she had a medical journal she'd been meaning to read, it was how she always spend her lunch hour since she could actually sit in the cafeteria without seeing hateful glares.

Addison looked up when she saw the door open and managed to give Derek a smile to greet him before looking back down to the article she was reading.

"Hey." he greeted her. "I didn't know you were on your lunch break."

"Yeah, 1:30 to 2:15. And it's 1:43 so..." she replied.

"I'm usually 12:15 to 1." he explained.

"I know. Mikey has lunch during that time too. He tells me that you pick him up from pre-school and have lunch with him."

"Yeah, I do. I miss Mikey a lot. Even with you guys here, I still miss him. It's weird because in New York, the first two years of his life I saw him every single day. I couldn't imagine not seeing him. And then when I got consumed with work I'd see him once a week maybe but it was enough... And now, now I see him everyday but I still miss him."

"Because you see him for like an hour or two a day. You were used to being with him all the time." Addison answered. "It's hard, I know. Maybe you guys can try the sleepover idea again. He might be a little more comfortable now. You can take him a few nights out of the week and spend time with him."

"That would be good..." Derek trailed off, taking a seat on the bench next to her. "That's all you're eating?"

Addison nodded. "I like Doritos." she answered.

"I know you do. It was 40 percent of your diet while you were pregnant." he teased. "I went down to Subway. You can have half my sandwich if you want. I think I got something you would like."

"Since when are you a fan of Subway?" Addison retorted.

"Well, I recently discovered I'm not welcomed in the cafeteria when I'm not with Michael. I can't sit with anyone and people just...don't like me. And totally my surgery had complication and I couldn't get out at my normal hour to have lunch with Mikey. And nap time starts at 1 so I couldn't go get him which left me all alone and starving so eating Subway in the locker room seemed like a good idea. It's the closest place to eat around here and I didn't want to sit there in scrubs and a lab coat so I just came to eat here."

"Well, I've been eating lunch here for over a month so welcome to the club." Addison replied lightheartedly.

"And when you say lunch are you referring to a bag of chips?"

"Not always. Sometimes I go across the street to Starbucks and get coffee and a cookie." She answered. "It's kind of hard because, as you said, there is not many choices around here."

Derek nodded, wrapping half of the foot long sandwich in the Subway wrapping paper before he handed it off to her. "So, why do you have 'lunch' locked up in here?"

"Because unlike you, my lunch break always overlaps nap time at pre-school so I never had the option of having Mikey to keep my company. And like you, I am just not welcomed. People look at me with hateful glares and they whispered and watch me eat alone and it's just not pleasant. I stopped after the first week. It's not worth it no matter how good the cafeteria curly fries are."

"Curly fries, cookies, chips...are you trying to eat your way to a heart attack?"

"Junk food makes me feel better...Although I have gained almost 2 pounds since I moved here." Addison admitted.

"Well, maybe we can talk to Richard to change my lunch hour to be the same as yours. That way I won't get in the way of Mikey's time with his friends and we can have lunch together so we won't have to be alone." Derek offered. "Maybe we can explore around this area and check out the options. Try something new every day."

"I couldn't ask you to change your whole schedule for me, Derek."

"You didn't ask. I offered." he pointed out. "And I really wouldn't mind doing it. I would actually look forward to having adult conversations rather than entire 45 minute discussions about Blue's Clues episodes."

Addison laughed, covering her mouth with her hand so Derek wouldn't see the chew up food inside. "He does love that show."

"I know, I can tell." Derek muttered. "I'll talk to Richard and let you know how things work out."

"Okay." Addison nodded. "But we're never going back to Subway again. This is terrible."

Richard easily granted Derek's request. They spent every lunch break together, usually hidden in the locker room with hand packed lunch that Derek would make every single morning. She found it endearing that he would wake up half an hour earlier to make her favorite kind of sandwich, or that he stayed up late to cook something for her because he knew she'd eaten out every day since moving to Seattle. It was comfortable and easy and that's what scared Addison the most.

"Hey." Derek greeted her when he walked into the locker room.

"I'm starving. Watcha got today?" Addison asked impatiently.

"Nothing. Sorry, I got an emergency page at like 4 am, I didn't have time before leaving for work." he replied apologetically. "I was thinking we could go out today. Explore around the area. Maybe we'll find somewhere epic."

They walked for no more than two blocks before coming across a diner neither had ever noticed. Derek held the door open for her and acted like the perfect gentleman.

"Do you guys need more time?" the waitress asked them.

"No." Derek replied.

"Yeah, I do." Addison spoke up.

"No, you don't. I'm gonna order for you. Just trust me, okay?" he said, pointing out a few items on the menu for the waitress. "But no mayo on hers, please. She hates mayo. Make it ketchup instead. And lots of ranch on the side, please."

"Okay, what the hell did you order?" Addison asked.

"Patients is a virtue, honey." Derek replied, looking back at the waitress. "That's it, thank you."

"What did you just say?" Addison asked him once the waitress was gone. He just stared at her blankly in response. "You called me honey. You almost killed me with your bare hands when I called you that."

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't think it would bother you." Derek replied.

"It doesn't bother me, it just surprised me." she replied.

"I guess spending this time with you kind reminded me of the old days. You know, the lunch dates between classes and sneaking away during clinical rotations to have my sandwiches on the roof of the hospital." he smiled at her. "I proposed to you like that on the roof of that hospital because that's where I realized I love you."

"Derek..." she tried to interrupt him.

"I won't call you that again. I'm sorry." he added softly. "I didn't mean to make this awkward."

"You didn't make it awkward." Addison assured him. "And it's really fine, you can call me whatever you want. Just tell me what you ordered for me, I'm starving."

"Patience is a virtue." Derek smirked. "Oh, look, they're bringing it."

"Two bacon cheeseburgers." the waitress smiled as she placed one in front of Addison. "No mayo, ketchup instead." she confirmed before putting the other burger in front of Derek. "Here is your side of onion rings and I'm gonna go get that ranch you asked for."

"Bacon cheeseburger?" Addison asked, looking down at the greasy burger in front of her.

"Yeah, you used to love bacon cheeseburgers. That was the other 60 percent of your diet when you were pregnant." he replied. "I'm sorry. Do you not like it anymore? I shouldn't have just ordered for you like that."

"No, I love bacon cheeseburgers. Why are you so wound up, Derek? Everything is fine." She smiled reassuringly then happily took a bite out of her burger. "I'm just surprised you remembered that. And I'm surprised you remember exactly how I like it. I probably haven't had one since I was pregnant."

Derek returned the smile. "I ordered it like six times a week on my way home from work for like 7 months. Kinda hard to forget after that." he replied.

"Why couldn't we do this before the shit hit the fan?" Addison suddenly asked. "Do you realize how close we're gotten over the last couple of weeks? All we had to do was find 45 minutes a day to have lunch and we could have saved our marriage. We wouldn't be on the brink of divorce."

"I'm sorry." Derek mumbled shamefully.

"No, don't be sorry. It's not entirely your fault. We both made mistakes and we have to deal with the consequences." Addison replied, trying to be as optimistic as she could about the situation as possible. "On the bright side, we're getting along. That's bound to make this separation easier on Mikey, right? We won't be one of those bitterer, angry divorcees."

"I've been meaning to talk to you about the divorce, Addie."

"Oh, okay." Addison responded, putting down her burger to give him her full and undivided attention. "Did your lawyer finish drawing up new drafts of the papers with the custody agreement that you wanted?"

"Actually, I told him to hold off on it."

"Why?"

"Well, that's what I want to talk to about." he started off. "Over these last two weeks I've been reconsidering the whole divorce."

"What's there to reconsider?"

"I don't want a divorce. I've realized over the last few weeks that a divorce is the exact opposite of what I want. This 45 minutes we have together, Addie, it's the highlight of my day. I love that it's not as complicated as it should be are we can just sit here and just be us."

"Because we're just friends having lunch, Derek. We're not having lunch as husband and wife, that's why it's not awkward."

"We were friends before we started dating...we were friends for like a whole month before I asked you out. And it wasn't awkward and weird when we started going out. Being friends helped."

"What are you getting at here, Derek?" Addison asked, looking at him with one brow curiously raised.

"I'm trying to convince you to maybe go out on a date with me. Like an actual date, not these little lunches that we've been doing. I'll actually put effort into getting readying and I'll come pick you up and open doors and pull out chairs for you. It could be fun and it would be a start toward fixing our marriage. We'll take it slow, do dates, family outings that kinda thing."

"Did you just ask me out on a date?"

"Yeah, I did. And you haven't answered me."

"Well, excuse me if I'm a little out of practice. I haven't been asked out very many times in the last 12 years. I think the wedding ring is a little bit of a turn of too most men." Except Mark. She added mentally, she would have said it out loud but she didn't want to ruin the moment.

"Well, I haven't done this in a while too. I'm sure that wasn't as smooth as it was back when I was in my early 20s." he said to her. He hadn't asked a woman for a date since he met Addison in medical school. With Meredith it just happened, he didn't need to ask.

"I guess it's worth a shot." she agreed softly after a few seconds to think it over. "But I don't want to rush, okay? We can just do the dating thing until we're sure that we are sure that it's the right thing to do to stay married. And once we're sure then we can move in together to make it official."

Derek nodded his head. "Sounds good to me. I'm sure Michael will be excited to hear..."

Addison cut him off before he could continue. "I don't want to tell right away. I don't want to get his hopes up then crush them again if it doesn't work out. Let's just see how it goes for a couple of weeks then we'll talk to him, okay?"

* * *

After three weeks, 9 dates and 5 outings as a family, Addison was sure that they'd made the best choice by calling off the divorce. They planned to tell Michael about the relationship the name of their one month anniversary. Derek planned to pick them up but Addison's last surgery of the day ran longer than expected. She asked him to get Michael from day care and figure out where they wanted to go and let her know so she could meet them there. Derek left the choice up to Michael who decided it would be ideal to go to Chuck E. Cheese.

He sat in a booth and pressed two tokens into his son's little palm. "That's all you get before the pizza comes, okay? And you have to stay where I can see you" he told the child. "Make it count."

Michael nodded. "I's gots to gets lots of tickets cuz I's want the coolest prize they gots." he told his father before running off to the closest arcade game.

He watched Michael for a minute or two before his eye caught a woman in navy blue scubs walk through the door passed the so called "security center." He greeted his wife with a kiss and smiled as she slid into the booth beside him. "Why are you in scrubs?"

"There was a projectile vomit incident when I got paged to the ER." she explained. "Trust me, you don't want to hear the rest of that story. I'm starving."

"I ordered the pizza, should be here in a little while." Derek told her.

"So how is it that we ended up at Chuck E. Cheese?" Addison asked.

"I let Mikey decide and you know how much kids love this place. He was so excited when I agreed that he almost cried in joy. " he said with a shrug. "So we're gonna tell him?"

"Mama!" Michael yelled in excitement, running toward their booth to jump into her waiting arms. "Can I's have more coins?"

"How many did Daddy give you?" Addison asked.

"Two...and I found one of the ground." he told his mother proudly.

"I think that's enough for now, buddy. You can play lots of games after you eat, okay?" Addison told him. "Here, go take a seat. The pizza will be here soon and Daddy and I have a lot to talk to you about."

Michael hopped off her lap without protest, shoving his little hands into his pockets to retrieve a bunch of tickets. "Look how many I gots!" he exclaimed happily and he put them on the table and pushed them in front of Derek who was responsible of counting them. Then he hopped up on the vacant side of the booth and stared at her parents. "Daddy, after we eats you's got to help me win more tickets." he told her father seriously. "I's want ta get millions."

"Sure, buddy." Derek promised. "Look, Mikey, Mommy and I have something we want to tell you."

"Mikey, Daddy and I have been thinking a lot about everything that happened between us. We talked about it and we decided that we don't want to get a divorce anymore." Addison started off.

"So we's gonna be a family 'gen?" Michael asked, looking at her parents with a little bit of confusion.

Derek and Addison both nodded. "Yeah, honey, we are." Addison answered.

"Is we gots ta go back ta New Yoke?"

"No, we're not going back to New York. Mommy and I both have jobs here now and you're in one of the best pre-school in the state so we can't leave." Derek explained.

"Oh." Michael sighed in relief. "Cuz I gots a new best friend. She's name is Kara and I weally wike her. I thinks I's gonna mawwy her so we's gots to stay."

* * *

Derek and Addison tried to keep their relationship status from those they worked with. They rarely spoke to one another in the hospital unless they were on the same case, they didn't exchange greetings or tell-tale smiles. Despite their best efforts the secret was revealed just one day after their celebrated their first month together. One of the nurses just happened to be at the same place as the Shepherd family the night they broke the news to Michael. She had over her the entire conversation and the detailed, child friendly explanation and by the next morning the whole hospital was buzzing about it.

Luckily, it wasn't as bad as Derek had anticipated it to be. People quickly got over the news and the gossip died down within days. The only person who was still in shock over the news was Meredith.

"Dr. Grey." Derek repeated, clearing her throat to capture her attention in the OR. "I asked for suction."

"You're dating your wife?" she asked quietly.

"Excuse me?" Derek replied, looking up at her for a split second before turning his attention back to the procedure.

"I heard that you guys decided against the divorce. Your son must be really happy about that."

"He is." Derek confirmed. "But I don't think right now is the best time and place to discuss this, Dr. Grey. I've got this woman's skill lying open in front of me and I can't see what I'm doing because you won't provide me with proper suction."

Meredith carefully suctioned away the blood obstructing Derek's view. She stood, her eyes fixed on the procedure site in case more bleed occurred. "So you forgive her for the affair, she forgives you for yours and you're back to loving each other and being perfect?"

"I don't forgive her and I'm sure she doesn't forgive me." Derek spoke firmly. "But she's my wife, she's the mother of my child. She's been by my side for almost a decade and a half. I owe it to her and to myself to try to work passed all of our problems. We both made a mistakes in this last year but we can't let that one year destroy our entire relationship. We deserve more than that and Mikey sure as hell deserves more than that."

"What was the point of moving across the country and starting a relationship with me if you were going to go right back to her?" Meredith asked quietly.

"God dammit." Derek cursed, his eyes darting to the beeping monitors. "Suction, Grey!" he exclaimed. "I need to find the cause of this bleeding before she dies."

"Dr. Shepherd." A nurse spoke into the microphone in the scrub room. "Your patient's husband just got here. He just heard about her accident. He just told us that she attempted suicide two days ago by taking a handful of blood thinners instead of painkillers."

That was it. That was the reason he couldn't stop the bleeding. "She jumped off the roof, she didn't fall while cleaning the gutters." Derek concluded. "Call it Grey."

"That's it? You're not even going to try to stop it?" Meredith asked incredulously.

"I can't do anything at this point. I needed to know about the blood thinners sooner." Derek explained. "I need to go tell her husband that he just lost his wife. And I'd appreciate it if you could keep my personal life out of the OR, Grey. This guy may have lost his wife but I'm not ready to lose mine and I'll do what I can to make sure of it."

* * *

So the original version of this chapter did not include that part at Chuck E. Cheese with Michael. And we all know that no chapter is complete without Michael so I had to think of something to add him in and hence that Chuck E. Cheese segment. I know it's the not greatest but it's better than having no Michael moments at all. The third and final part is next but I haven't even started writing it so I can't say when it will be posted.

Let me know what you thought and I'll try to have it up in the next week or so. :)


	3. Chapter 3

Michael's eyes burst open and he quickly jumped out of bed. The trailer was dark and quiet but he didn't need to see anything to know what had happened. This was the third time in less than a month. He quickly tried to pull the wet sheets off his bed. He hoped he would be able to do it without waking his mother but he wasn't that lucky. His little footsteps and rustling of the sheets woke her.

"Michael?" she called out into the darkness, sitting up in bed and reaching for the light switch to illuminate the bedroom. She turned to her right, checking to see if Derek had also woken from the sound only to discover that he was still not home.

Michael signed and gave up on the sheets. He stood in the doorway of the room and looked at his mother shamefully. "I hased an accident 'gain." he whispered. "I's sorry, Mommy."

Addison got out of bed and moved toward her son. She crouched down to his level and helped him take off the wet footsie pajamas. "Take off your undies too, buddy, then get in the shower and we'll get your cleaned up and back to bed." she told him softly. She grabbed the wet underwear he kicked to the floor and quickly threw both items in the washing machine just behind her while Michael got in the shower. After quickly washing him off she help him get dressed and ushered him toward her vacant bed.

"I's wants ta sleep in my bed."

"Honey, your sheets are all wet. I have to wash them. And these sheets are the only ones small enough to fit your bed, we don't have another set. You can sleep on Daddy's side of the rest of the night, okay?"

"What about Daddy?" Michael asked. "He'z not home 'gain, Mama."

"I know, honey. He's at the hospital." she answered. He'd called her to tell her that his last surgery was going to run much longer than he expected, something about a rare complication. She just assumed that he would be home by 3 in the morning.

"Oh..." Michael mumbled as he climbed up into his parents bed and curled up on his father's side.

Addison pulled the blanket up around him and leaned closer to kiss his forehead. "Get some sleep, baby." she said softly and moved to dim the light. She just needed enough to see what she was doing while she stripped his bed.

This was his third bed wetting incident since they had moved into the trailer a month earlier. He'd never had that problem before that. It had only happened one time before their move to Seattle when Michael was 2 and a half and just coming off potty training. He wet his bed just one night after Derek left his family without warning. Addison slowly realized the pattern. All three of the incidents in Seattle where after they moved in with Derek and only on the nights when he wasn't around and in New York it was just when he realized his father was gone.

"Michael." Addison stopped what she was doing and went back to her son. "Did you see a bad dream, honey?" she asked.

"Daddy not home." he whispered.

"I know he's not, but I'm home."

"You's a girl, Mommy. You's can't fight wiff monstas at night!" he exclaimed.

"I don't know about that, Mikey, I'm pretty strong." she insisted to assure him that he was safe even when Derek wasn't around.

Michael shook his head. "Not as strong as Daddy." he shot back. "And there's lotz of Monstas in da forest and we's live next ta da forest!"

"Monsters are not real, sweetheart." she told him softly.

"Yes they is! I seed them in my dream!" he told her forcefully and on the verge of tears. "You gots ta tawk ta Daddy, kay? Cuz I don't wanna liff in da forest wiff monstas wiffout him."

"I'll definitely talk to Daddy about it but you don't have to worry tonight. Today is monster holiday. They're all off today so they can't do anything."

"How do ya know?" he asked skeptically.

Addison thought about it for a minute and then smoothly said, "I read about it online."

* * *

"Hey." Derek grinned when walked out of the bathroom and came toward the bed. "Do you enjoy torturing me?"

"What?" she asked, giving him a confused look. Did he not want her around anymore? Was their relationship torturing him?

"That dress you wore to work today. It showed off all those sexy curves and your boobs looked fucking amazing your legs..." he trailed off to take a breath.

"Then you took it off and wore scrubs and tied up your hair into that perfectly messy bun and it made me even more turned on."

Addison rolled her eyes dismissively. "I've worn that dress a million times and you never particularly cared for it before."

"That was in New York when I valued OR time more than sex." he reminded her. "Sex trumps the OR." he told her surely as he rolled on top of her and pressed his lips to hers. "I've been waiting all day to rip your clothes off."

Addison stiffened. She was visibly hesitant and Derek was taken back by it.

"What is it? What's wrong?"he asked.

"We can't do this today." she told him.

"Why not?"

"I think I've got a UTI and I don't want to have sex and run the risk of making it worse."

"You think you a UTI?" he repeated. "Why would you think that?"

"I peed like nine times today. I had a two hour surgery, which, you know, is not that long, but I left three times to pee! And it burns so bad."

"You wanna do a urinalysis tomorrow? I can write you a lab order for it, just piss in the cup and give it to me and I'll put Jane Doe on the paperwork and personally take it to the lab." Derek asked her. "You might need antibiotics or something."

"No, Derek, I'm not going to give you a cup of my piss, as you so eloquently put it. I'll wait a few more days. It might be nothing." she answered hopefully.

"Well, is that it? Have you had other symptoms?"

"No, not that I've notice. It might be nothing, I don't want to jump ahead of myself. I just don't want to risk sex."

"Okay." Derek nodded understandingly. "But we could still cuddle tonight if you want. That might be a compromise. I can still be close to you that way and we won't be doing anything sexual."

Addison nodded her permission and moved so her back was pressed against his chest. She felt his arms wrap around her waist and in that moment that's all she could ask for.

"You want to tell me what's on your mind?" Derek asked her softly, his ones hand moving up to twirl her hair around his index finger. It was something he always did when they cuddled.

"Michael has been wetting his bed a lot lately." she told him.

"Mother/son urinary issues, huh?" Derek joked.

She elbowed him in the side then turned in his arms so she could look into his eyes. "It's nothing medical, Derek. He only does it on the nights that you're not home. He's afraid of not having someone to protect him, he's afraid that you won't come back and that you'll leave him again."

"I'm not planning on leaving you guys again."

"You weren't planning on leaving us last time either. You didn't come home with the plan to walk out on us..."

Derek quickly moved away from her and sat up. "I didn't walk out on you. I left you. There is a difference." he pointed out, obviously angered by Addison's accusation. " And I wasn't planning on coming home to see my wife fucking my best friend in my bed. I had the right to walk out."

Addison sighed and moved back toward her side of the bed. She knew he was not going to let her forget her mistakes so easily and she didn't expect him to. He had a right to be upset and bitter over what she did. She just hoped that maybe there would be a time when he wouldn't constantly hold it against her.

"Forget I said anything." she said quietly, hoping to keep the fight from escalating. "I'm tired of fighting about the same things constantly."

"What? You mean when you blamed me for leaving and causing insecurities in my son you weren't expecting me to point out that I only left because of you. You don't want to admit that you're largely to blame for this disaster of a marriage. It's just easier to constantly blame me for being absent."

"This is exactly why I wanted to go back to New York. Because we're never going to move on from my actions, Derek. It's always going to be an issue..."

Derek got out of bed, he didn't even bother changing. He just put on his coat and moved toward the door but not without turning back to her. "I've been trying so hard to make this work, Addison, but you make it so hard sometimes."

"You're leaving?" she asked in a shaky voice.

"Yes, I am leaving. I need to get away from you right now before I get angrier and say anything else that I might regret tomorrow." he told her.

"He's going to freak out if he wakes up and you're not home." Addison murmured, looking across the trailer to see her son still soundly asleep.

"Then you can tell him that Mommy drives Daddy crazy and sometimes Daddy needs to go away for the sake of his sanity."

And sure enough Michael did wake up halfway through the night. He quickly moved toward his mother and nudged her from her light sleep. "I's haved anotha accident." he told her.

Addison reached for the light and sat up in bed. Just as she was about to get out of bed the door opened and Derek walked inside. Michael quickly ran into his arms. "Daddy! You's gots to make the monstas go away!" he exclaimed.

"Don't worry, buddy, I'll never let any monsters hurt you." Derek promised as he got the little boy in the shower while Addison stripped the bed and threw the sheets in the washing machine.

She laid out a fresh pair of pajamas for her son just as Derek wrapped the little boy in a towel. He eased all of his son's worries about monsters and got him in the bed beside Addison.

"Daddy you's gonna stay, right? You's not going 'gain? Cuz if ya go and da monstas come back then I's gonna pee 'gain and this time I's in you's bed so Mama's gonna get wet too..."

"I'm not going anywhere, baby boy." Derek promised as he got back into bed beside his family. "I know I get angry sometimes and I say and do lots of things that I don't mean to. But I'm really trying my best to be here for you. I love you." he said while occasionally glancing over Michael's shoulder to look into Addison's eyes so she would know that his words applied to her too.

She never replied, just stared down at her son who was starting to doze back off into sleep.

"Addie." Derek whispered. "I never left. I was outside on the deck the whole time."

"But you weren't in here with me. You asked me to move to Seattle and I did, I gave up everything and came here. You asked me to give you another chance, you asked me to move in here with you and I did all of it. I did it because I want this to work and it won't if you keep walking away. It's not just hurting me, if it were just hurting me I wouldn't care. It's hurting Michael too. We've already hurt him enough, we can't keep doing it."

Derek nodded. "I'm sorry." he apologized. "I over reacted and got defensive for no reason. I didn't mean to hurt either of you." he said, hesitantly moving his hand over the barrier Michael created between them to reach for her hand. "I've been trying but I'll try harder. I want this to work as much as you do."

* * *

She stood in the OR, wincing in pain at the cramping in her abdomen. She hoped her intern for the day, Alex Karev, and everyone else in the OR didn't notice it. She had no such luck.

"You okay, Dr. Montgomery?" the anesthesiologist asked her. "Do you need to take a break?"

"No, no, I'm fine." she replied without looking up from the procedure. "Can someone get me acetaminophen or ibuprofen?"

"Headache?" the man asked.

Addison briefly looked up to meet his eyes. She quickly nodded before turning her attention back to her patient. It was a lie, she didn't have a headache. She just didn't want people to know something was going on with her. "Didn't have time to have coffee today. Withdrawals are probably kicking in." she elaborated to be more convincing in her lie.

Another forty minutes went by before she felt like she simply could not deal anymore. "Karev." she spoke up. "Do you think you can cover me for a few minutes? Just keep him stable, I doubt anything will happen while I'm gone."

"Where are you going?" Alex Karev questioned.

"I have to pee, Karev. Is that okay with you? I didn't know I'd need to get permission for you." she addressed him with her signature glare.

She quickly left the OR and ran toward the nearest bathroom. She went straight into a vacant stall and lowered her scrub pants to see a blood stain on her panties. She let out a heavy sigh, her heart starting to pound faster in her chest. It wasn't her period, she was spotting. She took a minute to calm herself, it wasn't necessarily anything serious. Stress causes spotting she told herself. And she's been very stressed since moving to Seattle. It's just the stress, she repeated to herself all the way back to the OR. She had too much going on to give it anymore thought.

* * *

Her list of symptoms continued to grow as days went on. There was one night when she just wanted to take a hot shower and put her worries behind her and that's when Derek decided to join her. Despite her hesitance, she was relieved to know that her husband wanted her so she didn't stop him. She let loose and tried to enjoy herself and it worked up until a cramp crippled her.

"Derek." she groaned. To her it was a release of pain but for Derek it was a sign that she was closer to her climax. He wrapped his arms tightly around her waist to keep her hoisted up against him.

"Yeah, baby..." he murmured into her ear as his lips brushed against the side of her neck. He pinned her against the wall, pushing his wet body closer to her.

"You close?"

"Ow, Derek, stop. Stop." she begged, pushing him away from her.

Derek eased her down on the ground and took a step back in the small shower. "Addie?" he asked her, the concern obvious in his voice and his eyes.

"I'm sorry, Derek. It hurts. I tried to enjoy it, I really did but it became too painful." she admitted regretfully. "I'm sorry, I don't know what's wrong with me."

"Don't be sorry, none of this is your fault." he replied softly, reaching out to tuck a strand of wet hair behind her ear. "I'm just worried about you and I want you to be okay. Maybe you should go see a doctor. First it was painful urination and now it hurts during sex and I'm sure there is more that you have not told me about. You need to see a doctor, honey."

"I see a doctor every time I look in the mirror. I'm fine. I think I would know..."

Derek cut her off before she could finish her sentence. "Addison, we've been over this many, many times, especially during your pregnancy. Just because you are an internationally ranked OB/GYN, does not mean you can be your own doctor." he reminded her.

"I know. If anything else happens I'll see a doctor." she promised her husband. The problem was she was starting to realize the gravity of her symptoms. Separately they were nothing serious but combined it was something she didn't even want to consider. "Now will you please get out of here so I can finish my shower."

Derek nodded and stuck his head out past the shower door to make sure Michael was still asleep. He reached for a towel and wrapped it around himself as soon as he got out of the shower. That's when his pager went off calling him back to work. He quickly changed into a pair of jeans and an old sweater. He scribbled a note for Addison telling her he had to go work and kissed his son goodbye before taking off.

She was done with her shower twenty minutes later. She fully expected to put on a pair of boxers and a t-shirt and fall asleep in her husband's arms. She needed that comfort. But all she found was a note on his pillow telling her Derek had been called away. It was yet another night where she'd fall asleep alone. The only difference was that this time Addison knew all too well that her future held nothing but struggle. Now she'd have to fight to keep her crumbling marriage from completely falling apart again and she'd have to fight to keep her undiagnosed but highly suspected illness from burdening her family.

* * *

Sorry it took me forever to post this. I kept changing it because I wanted the last chapter to flow well with the first chapter of the original story. Hope you guys like it. Let me know what you think :)

I'd also appreciate ideas for one-shots and stories. No promises that I'll be able to write them but it might help kick start ideas in my mind. Thank you!


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